So, I'm feeling terribly down at the moment. I feel really fat and unhealthy and unhappy....actually, no. I just feel fat and unhappy. I really don't have any health complaints. I feel quite healthy.
And this is the problem. Healthy doesn't always mean skinny and skinny doesn't always mean healthy.
Which side of the fence am I on?
The skinny side, of course.
See, people who are unhealthy and skinny are judged dramatically differently than people who are unhealthy and fat. Do I even need to elaborate here?
Bad health can be hidden and treated....fat, on the other hand, cannot (well, at least with a magic pill that takes effect over night)
I am an Asian girl who weighs 140 pounds at 5'2". I should be somewhere around 115 pounds. And I absolutely despise my arms, shoulders, and calves. What can I do about these things? Lower my body fat. And then what? Well, if I'm not satisfied, I will just have to change my mindset...
BTW, I fucking HATE when I'm told that I need to change my mindset. No, mother fucker, no.
I think I'll just stay pissed off at my broad shoulders, overdeveloped triceps, and ridiculous calves.
And maybe one day, when I'm tired of crying about myself, I'll go suck on a tailpipe and check myself out.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
August 4, 2011
So,
Apparently I'm a ninja. LOL Random, I know. It's kind of an inside thing.
Well, so today, I think I've decided that I'm going to just listed to what Waylan has been saying and just "go with the flow" and try to just enjoy the moment. I think that if I keep worrying about the future, I'm never going to be satisfied, and, in turn, I'm piss of Waylan and force him away. So yeah, just go with the flow...(I'll let you know how the going and flowing goes, I'm sure.)
So...back to products and beauty and usual.
Lately, I've been very obsessed with false eyelashes. I know, join the club. But, for the longest time, I didn't wanna try them because they are just a damn hassle. Well, they still are, I suppose. It takes practice to be able to get them just right. But, I've learned a few things about false lashes.
1. The glue you use really matters. My favorite is the Revlon glue that comes in the white tube. it has a brush applicator and, for some reason, it turns blue when you initially apply it, and then it dries and turns invisible. I love it.
2. The kind of lashes you get also really makes a difference. The first lashes that I got were from www.model21.com (mainly because they come in a set of 10 and they are cheap). They are kind of hard to work with because the band is so thick and they are made out of some plastic material, not real hair. So, what I would do is just cut them in half and just apply them to the outter corners in order to get the cat-eye effect. And that worked fine. It's just that they are a bit more uncomfortable. If you want more comfortable wear, I suggest getting the lashes by Ardell or something that has a really thin band. I think they stay on better as well.
So yeah, that's that. I suppose my next endeavor would be to finally try the individual lashes that I have....
We will see.
Apparently I'm a ninja. LOL Random, I know. It's kind of an inside thing.
Well, so today, I think I've decided that I'm going to just listed to what Waylan has been saying and just "go with the flow" and try to just enjoy the moment. I think that if I keep worrying about the future, I'm never going to be satisfied, and, in turn, I'm piss of Waylan and force him away. So yeah, just go with the flow...(I'll let you know how the going and flowing goes, I'm sure.)
So...back to products and beauty and usual.
Lately, I've been very obsessed with false eyelashes. I know, join the club. But, for the longest time, I didn't wanna try them because they are just a damn hassle. Well, they still are, I suppose. It takes practice to be able to get them just right. But, I've learned a few things about false lashes.
1. The glue you use really matters. My favorite is the Revlon glue that comes in the white tube. it has a brush applicator and, for some reason, it turns blue when you initially apply it, and then it dries and turns invisible. I love it.
2. The kind of lashes you get also really makes a difference. The first lashes that I got were from www.model21.com (mainly because they come in a set of 10 and they are cheap). They are kind of hard to work with because the band is so thick and they are made out of some plastic material, not real hair. So, what I would do is just cut them in half and just apply them to the outter corners in order to get the cat-eye effect. And that worked fine. It's just that they are a bit more uncomfortable. If you want more comfortable wear, I suggest getting the lashes by Ardell or something that has a really thin band. I think they stay on better as well.
So yeah, that's that. I suppose my next endeavor would be to finally try the individual lashes that I have....
We will see.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
August 3, 2011
So,
I think I want to talk about relationships today. I know, it's a step outside the box from my typical cosmetic hauls/reviews.
Although, before we begin, I did go to the Container Store today and I got some nice things. Nothing too exciting, though. Just a couple lipstick containers and a brush holder thingy. I also got the acrylic tote organizer thing but I thought it was gonna 7.99...turns out it was 19.99...I don't think it's worth that much so I may return that piece.
So yeah, back to relationships...
Well, I'm dating this guy currently. What shall I name him on here? How about Waylan. (I'm picking the name Waylan because I just watched a video by TiffanyD and her dog is named Waylan...so cute.) Anyway, he's absolutely amazing. The only "thing" is that he's a little bit older than me...like, 19 years older than me. Which, in all honestly, I don't really care too much about. He's hot, he's got his shit together, he's not some jackass, and he's amazingly sweet. And we seem to have a lot in common. And we are terribly attracted to each other.
He's very realistic and practical. He's also very honest. He just got out of an 8-year (on and off) relationship, so, really, he's not in the best of emotional places right now.
So, my concern is that...well, am I just here to help through this tough and lonely time of his life? And then when he's healed from the hurt that came upon him, will he decide to leave me? I've brought these concerns to him before (because we have a very open and honest relationship where we can really talk about anything, no matter how awkward is gets) and he, of course, continues on to assure me that I'm not just some chick or some rebound (because, well, we haven't had any sex and I think that if this were the case, it would have happened at this point), but what bothers me is that he says "let's just go with the flow" a lot. That's very non-committal to me. But should I be searching for some kind of "commitment"? Perhaps not. Commitment is such a scary word isn't it? If you wanna make a guy run for the hills, just bring this word up. How sad. You know how this makes me feel? Honestly, it's very unnerving. It's saddening. It makes me feel very insecure...like, at any given moment, on any whim, no matter how slight, this could all shatter. I feel very out of control, and I don't like it.
But what's wrong with me? I mean, really, it goes both ways. If I woke up one morning and decided that I didn't want him anymore, I have the option of walking away, of never responding to another text message, of completely cutting Waylan out of my life completely without a moment's notice. That would drive anyone insane...to be rejected without reason. I think the difference is that I don't have any plans to just up and walk away...I play for keeps, and I don't put in effort into something transient. It's a waste of my time and affections. I think the thing that bothers me the most is that, by him keeping the theoretical door very open, he's implying that it will happen. I mean, if you don't expect it to rain, why would you carry around an umbrella? But then again, maybe he looks at it as if it's a "just in case" thing. Like, why would you keep a fire extinguisher in the house? it's not like you expect your house to catch fire, right?
Hmm...I suppose that I should look at things this way. I'm 23, I'm fairly attractive (at least I think so) and I'm not really all that bad. I have a lot going for me, I suppose. If something disastrous were to take place, I think that I could bounce back fairly quickly.
I'm pretty sure I just need to disconnect a little bit. Perhaps I should not make such an emotional investment in someone who, I feel, could potentially jump ship at any time. He's already primed me by some of our conversation....
I don't know. I just wish I could tell the future. Where's a psychic when you need one?
I think I want to talk about relationships today. I know, it's a step outside the box from my typical cosmetic hauls/reviews.
Although, before we begin, I did go to the Container Store today and I got some nice things. Nothing too exciting, though. Just a couple lipstick containers and a brush holder thingy. I also got the acrylic tote organizer thing but I thought it was gonna 7.99...turns out it was 19.99...I don't think it's worth that much so I may return that piece.
So yeah, back to relationships...
Well, I'm dating this guy currently. What shall I name him on here? How about Waylan. (I'm picking the name Waylan because I just watched a video by TiffanyD and her dog is named Waylan...so cute.) Anyway, he's absolutely amazing. The only "thing" is that he's a little bit older than me...like, 19 years older than me. Which, in all honestly, I don't really care too much about. He's hot, he's got his shit together, he's not some jackass, and he's amazingly sweet. And we seem to have a lot in common. And we are terribly attracted to each other.
He's very realistic and practical. He's also very honest. He just got out of an 8-year (on and off) relationship, so, really, he's not in the best of emotional places right now.
So, my concern is that...well, am I just here to help through this tough and lonely time of his life? And then when he's healed from the hurt that came upon him, will he decide to leave me? I've brought these concerns to him before (because we have a very open and honest relationship where we can really talk about anything, no matter how awkward is gets) and he, of course, continues on to assure me that I'm not just some chick or some rebound (because, well, we haven't had any sex and I think that if this were the case, it would have happened at this point), but what bothers me is that he says "let's just go with the flow" a lot. That's very non-committal to me. But should I be searching for some kind of "commitment"? Perhaps not. Commitment is such a scary word isn't it? If you wanna make a guy run for the hills, just bring this word up. How sad. You know how this makes me feel? Honestly, it's very unnerving. It's saddening. It makes me feel very insecure...like, at any given moment, on any whim, no matter how slight, this could all shatter. I feel very out of control, and I don't like it.
But what's wrong with me? I mean, really, it goes both ways. If I woke up one morning and decided that I didn't want him anymore, I have the option of walking away, of never responding to another text message, of completely cutting Waylan out of my life completely without a moment's notice. That would drive anyone insane...to be rejected without reason. I think the difference is that I don't have any plans to just up and walk away...I play for keeps, and I don't put in effort into something transient. It's a waste of my time and affections. I think the thing that bothers me the most is that, by him keeping the theoretical door very open, he's implying that it will happen. I mean, if you don't expect it to rain, why would you carry around an umbrella? But then again, maybe he looks at it as if it's a "just in case" thing. Like, why would you keep a fire extinguisher in the house? it's not like you expect your house to catch fire, right?
Hmm...I suppose that I should look at things this way. I'm 23, I'm fairly attractive (at least I think so) and I'm not really all that bad. I have a lot going for me, I suppose. If something disastrous were to take place, I think that I could bounce back fairly quickly.
I'm pretty sure I just need to disconnect a little bit. Perhaps I should not make such an emotional investment in someone who, I feel, could potentially jump ship at any time. He's already primed me by some of our conversation....
I don't know. I just wish I could tell the future. Where's a psychic when you need one?
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
August 2, 2011
So, it's been a while. I know, I've neglected you (whoever "you" happen to be). I haven't been as aggressively shopping as I once was. Shame, I know. O well. Interestingly enough, I'm none the richer.
Anyway, there are a few things that I have to review, but I think that I'd like to share some things that I've really been enjoying lately. I suppose this is a review as well.
First of all, I've really been liking Argan Oil. I get the one from Sally's. I believe the brand is called "One N Only" or something similar to that. You only need a few drops to make your hair feel good. I kind of reminds me of the Biosilk Silk Therapy serum.
Another thing that I've been enjoying lately is a big fat round brush. Yes, a brush. It's one of those metal ones that are very bristly. I use this in conjunction with my blow dryer. I literally just wandered into Sally's a purchased the largest round brush that I could find. It leaves my hair very lovely a voluminous. Although, it is quite a bit of work to stand there and do each section of hair. I'm sure you're all very familiar with this "round brush and blow dryer" process already. I'm not sure quite sure why I never bothered with it, but I enjoy the results.
The third thing that I've been enjoying lately is a perfume by Jessica Simpson. It's called "Fancy Love" (in the white bottle) and I must admit, I've had this perfume. I first picked it up when TiffanyD recommended it. I liked it, but wasn't terribly impressed. I think, at the time, I was more interested in J'adore by Dior (which is still amazing, by the way). But recently, I watched a video by Michelle1218 and she had mentioned this perfume. So, I decided to give it another shot. I'm very impressed with it now. I'm not even going to attempt to describe it, so you're just going to have to sniff it for yourself.
The fourth thing that I'm terribly fond of at the moment is the Urban Decay eye primer is Eden. It's amazing and I will always have it. Enough said.
I've also been liking Urban Decay's De-Slick In a Tube face primer. Very mattifying.
The Physician's Formula matte eye shadow quad in Classic Nudes has also been a favorite of mine lately. I've been using the $1 blending brush by ELF a lot too.
As far as lip products go, I love the Clinique Almost Lipstick in Black Honey and Revlon's Fashion's Night pout. Both are amazing and highly recommended.
So yeah, I'm tired of typing right now and I have to go cook my baked chicken and quinoa. I may do a blog about my diet soon.
Night night.
Anyway, there are a few things that I have to review, but I think that I'd like to share some things that I've really been enjoying lately. I suppose this is a review as well.
First of all, I've really been liking Argan Oil. I get the one from Sally's. I believe the brand is called "One N Only" or something similar to that. You only need a few drops to make your hair feel good. I kind of reminds me of the Biosilk Silk Therapy serum.
Another thing that I've been enjoying lately is a big fat round brush. Yes, a brush. It's one of those metal ones that are very bristly. I use this in conjunction with my blow dryer. I literally just wandered into Sally's a purchased the largest round brush that I could find. It leaves my hair very lovely a voluminous. Although, it is quite a bit of work to stand there and do each section of hair. I'm sure you're all very familiar with this "round brush and blow dryer" process already. I'm not sure quite sure why I never bothered with it, but I enjoy the results.
The third thing that I've been enjoying lately is a perfume by Jessica Simpson. It's called "Fancy Love" (in the white bottle) and I must admit, I've had this perfume. I first picked it up when TiffanyD recommended it. I liked it, but wasn't terribly impressed. I think, at the time, I was more interested in J'adore by Dior (which is still amazing, by the way). But recently, I watched a video by Michelle1218 and she had mentioned this perfume. So, I decided to give it another shot. I'm very impressed with it now. I'm not even going to attempt to describe it, so you're just going to have to sniff it for yourself.
The fourth thing that I'm terribly fond of at the moment is the Urban Decay eye primer is Eden. It's amazing and I will always have it. Enough said.
I've also been liking Urban Decay's De-Slick In a Tube face primer. Very mattifying.
The Physician's Formula matte eye shadow quad in Classic Nudes has also been a favorite of mine lately. I've been using the $1 blending brush by ELF a lot too.
As far as lip products go, I love the Clinique Almost Lipstick in Black Honey and Revlon's Fashion's Night pout. Both are amazing and highly recommended.
So yeah, I'm tired of typing right now and I have to go cook my baked chicken and quinoa. I may do a blog about my diet soon.
Night night.
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